A CORNER of Newport's monstrous leisure shed is now home to Burger King.

There's nothing more you're hoping to read right now than an excoriation of a dismal national chain. It wasn't that bad for a fast food restaurant. But wait - don't go! It wasn't that good either.

Tech-fiend Matt went straight for the interactive touch screens; traditionalist Cat trotted up to the counter to talk to a human.

Matt accessorised his BIG KING™ XL meal with an extra patty and large fries. Biting into it he was immediately reminded of the unique feature of Burger King - the meat really is flame-grilled and it tasted like it.

The fries were adequate, the bun was a sweet bit of fluff that fell apart in his hands. After eating his meal, he was less hungry. If there was anything else notable, it escaped him.

Cat's chicken royale meal with extra cheese was moist and bland. The breaded breast was joined in a soft sub by a spillage of mayo and stalky chunks of iceberg. It was ok though, in a perfunctory way.

We thought we ought to have another go round, so we went back for dessert.

Matt asked the lady at the till to recommend something and she was pleasingly helpful and well-informed, eventually guiding him to the OREO® FUSION, a cup full of ice cream mixed with crumbs of Oreo biscuit, that was actually quite enjoyable, even if it did come with a bizarrely overspecified plastic spoon that was more like an orthopaedic appliance.

Cat got a warm chocolate brownie 'hottie', which sported a substantial quiff of white ice cream.

The dessert, with its pleasingly gooey centre, was rather nice, and the texture better than some restaurant fondants. Maybe.

So we conclude that the advent of Burger King isn't really a matter of much importance, being neither a good thing nor a bad one.

It is fairly cheap, it keeps some Island folk in employment, and stops another corner of Newport falling further into the retail doldrums.

Unless you really like that powerfully smoky flavour in otherwise bland meat, you can get something better almost anywhere else. But most of us will go there anyway.

Matt and Cat's receipt

Big King XL meal with extra patty £8.99

Royale with cheese meal £6.99

Brownie £1.99

Oreo fusion £1.29

Total £19.26

Two stars: not that bad, worth a visit

Read Matt and Cat's reviews in full, on their website Matt and Cat's Isle of Wight Eating Out Guide.

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