In the First World War, my great-grandpa Tom served and came home filled with shrapnel and wounds that never healed. He died eight years later.

His wife Frances was left with six children and two butchers shops, on the Island.

In the Second World War, Great Grandma Frances, served in the WRVS. She was killed during the bombing in East Cowes, on the nights of May 4 and 5, 1942, when she, and many others went out to serve tea, help the people on duty and those who had been bombed and injured.

I believe, though I could be wrong, she was the only member of the WRVS killed on the IW that night or ever.

My darling Grandpa Tom, her youngest son, was half an hour late picking her up. He never forgave himself.

He went on to train as a master butcher, running the shops, and raising and slaughtering pigs himself, and although he always wanted be a navigator, he accepted his job as a butcher and became a Sergeant in the Home Guard.

I know old ladies who remember hiding in his pig shelters if the sirens went off and there was nowhere else.

He was the kindest of men -  a pacifist who thought war is a fool's game.

Most who remember it, or were bought up by parents who had been through it, never ever wanted another war.

I have worked with elderly patients who, still traumatised, could never speak of it, or, especially those with dementia, recalled horrific memories.

I remember an amazing lady who drove an ambulance in France but ended up crawling around battlefields, trying to piece together bodies so relatives could have their dead back, as human-looking as possible.

She described crawling under vehicles to find matching heads, arms and legs, filling missing limbs in uniforms with straw, for when bodies were sent home.

As far as I can see, Bob Seely's government sells arms to all sides and rubs its hands in glee.

War is a big, profitable business for those who use others as cannon fodder - collateral damage.

Some of the cared-for teenagers I used to work with were recruited by the armed services, only to be chucked out a few years later. 

It was as if there was relief from some quarters because, for at least a few years, these young people would have roofs over their heads and would maybe learn a trade.

But here’s the thing: Was it worth the risk of adding the trauma of war? The trauma of realising, once again, those at the top don’t care because they are too busy commodifying everything and placing value on power?

War is a human invention, fought over human issues and surely peace talks, compassion, fairness and trying to make our world a better place for future generations is more important than polarisation and murdering each other?

With Remembrance Day coming, it is worth remembering it isn’t just about honouring those who died. It is Lest We Forget.

I bet my bottom dollar that every single human involved in war hoped there would never be another and that their sacrifice was worth it.

Remembrance Day is not a jingoistic opportunity for recruitment. It’s a reminder of the horror. Lest We Forget.