I have now been writing for the Isle of Wight County Press for six years, and have thoroughly enjoyed being able to share the contents of my mind with the good (and not so good) people of the Island.

However, all good things must come to an end and with the editor, Alan Marriott recently announcing that he is going to step down, I have decided that this will be my very last article - it is time to hang up my quill.

Alan invited me to become a contributor after Charlotte Hofton left the CP.

I am not a professional writer, so was touched that Alan thought I would make a good contributor - he had liked the letters that I used to write to the CP under my real name.

I asked Alan if I could write under a pseudonym as I wanted to try and mirror Charlotte by writing opinionated and thought provoking articles but without the consequence of having an angry mob with pitchforks and torches come looking for me - it is a sad reality that we now live in a society where any opinion given that isn’t liked by the woke left will result in the opinionated person being cancelled.

I wanted to write as Malcolm Marmite but Alan wasn’t keen on the name, so I removed the a, r and t from Marmite and Malcolm Mime was born.

Although I never quite reached the heights Charlotte did, I hope I have managed to bring a little entertainment along the way.

These past six years have certainly been eventful ones, giving me lots of subject matter to write about, especially from the world of politics.

The floating bridge has been a particular favourite topic, and even now, we still have no idea what is going to happen with it.

However, all things considered, I think this current Alliance independents who are running County Hall are doing as good a job as is possible with the financial constraints they are under, proving that party politics should have nothing to do with local government.

Lora Peacey-Wilcox has done a great job as leader so far, and I particularly admired the way that she held her ground last year when the woke mob were baying for her blood for owning a set of gollies.

As I bow out, apart from a wish to see cancel culture disappear; which it won’t, I am also hoping that come the next general election, there will actually be a candidate on the Island that represents my views enough to entice me to vote.

I haven’t yet exercised my right to vote this century, but I like what I am hearing from the Reform Party and in particular its proposed candidate for the new Isle of Wight East Ward, Sarah Morris - she seems to be speaking my language.

However, having read Sarah’s Twitter feed, I would advise that she doesn’t get too hung up on the dangers of Covid vaccines and instead concentrates on what she can do to improve life for Isle of Wighters.

I have also been impressed by the Tory candidate hopeful for Isle of Wight East, Harriet Hadfield, who successfully pushed to get Wightlink to reintroduce late night sailings, thus achieving more in one fell swoop than the current MP, Bob ‘Half a Sausage’ Seely has achieved in six years, which reminds me, we never did get that promised ‘Island Deal’.

If Harriet wasn’t a Conservative, she would definitely be a consideration for my vote,but after what the Tories have put us all through in recent years, I’d rather have the woke lefties in charge…or maybe not.